Online dating has changed a lot since the last time I was single.

Gone are the days where you would scour through profiles and try to compose a quick message that you hoped would put you into the Maybe Pile. Now it’s all swipe-swipe-swipe. Because who has time to find everlasting love when you only have two minutes to spare before your next super important Netflix binge?

Honestly, I’m not a huge fan of these apps, and my once personal favorite eHarmony has changed their site to become a mobile-friendly swipe-style service; which makes them next to useless, since you can get the same swipe action on Bumble or Tinder for free.

Oh, and yes. I’ve come across lots of pictures of women at Machu Picchu on these apps. And even MORE pictures of women with elephants. I don’t know when Elephant Pictures became a thing, but the last time I was single I only came across ONE dating profile with an Elephant Picture in her gallery. And that woman became my girlfriend for four years.