I never really understood why doctors always have to ask if you’re sexually active. To me it would make more sense to ask if I’m eating well, or drinking enough water. But whatever.
As for the response to that question; during my times as a single man I thought of giving a snarky answer every time I heard that, but I figured they’d heard it all. So I kept it quick and to the point.
One doctor was even kind enough to say “Oh, don’t worry. One day you’ll meet a nice young lady”. Awww… That’s why she was my favorite.
In other news, as some of you know, I do Open Mic Comedy here in London, and with it comes a whole barrage of emotional ups and down. Saturday Night I came across one of my toughest challenges yet: a drunk woman in the audience. Now I’ve dealt and handled drunks before, but she was on a whole different plane of drunk where she was just disrupting the entire evening, and was too far gone to understand what she was doing.
She was yelling “IT’S TRUE!!” to every obviously true joke. With every pun her eyes grew as wide as those of a five year old child when they discovered centrifugal force. She was so far gone that every tiny thing was absolutely fascinating to her and she had to let the world know. I was almost convinced that if she saw a Batman movie she would yell out “OH MY GOD!! I THINK BRUCE WAYNE IS BATMAN!!!”
Getting up on that stage is hard enough, but knowing I have to go up against that unreasonable creature who cannot be controlled puts me into mental defense mode. How do you disarm a drunk woman? You can’t. Drunk men are easy to control because we’re dumb. But a drunk woman… there’s no stopping them.
Ask any comedian, and they’ll all say the same thing: Drunk girls are the worst.
So tried to do my thing, and unfortunately fell into the trap of being “too hard” on her. She shut up real quick, but I lost the audience. Winning them back was a struggle, and in the end I probably got about 30% back on my side. But it was hard, and deep inside I knew I could have handled the heckler better.
Getting up in front of that audience is more than just making them laugh. It’s an almost zen like state of mind where you have to control yourself, and the audience. If you lose one, then you lose the other. That was a valuable lesson I learned in ever lasting quest to make people laugh.
Patreon subscribers will be able to see my before and after Comedy Vlog on the night in a couple of days. I haven’t seen the video yet, but I’m guessing the look on my face is full of ANXIETY! Should be a fun one to look in on.