Big Talker

by faridzadeh on February 27, 2012 at 1:01 am

We sometimes carry around a huge burden on our shoulders. All we need is a friendly ear who will listen to us objectively and not pass judgement. But sometimes finding that right person can be tricky. And even if you find the right person, you can’t deny that nothing beats resting on a good lap; that strange part of the human body that disappears once we stand up. It has an extremely relaxing, Zen-like, effect. Once there, the amount of talking we are capable of is amazing. Eventually we reach that moment of calm that happens only through a long vent, or at the very least a breakthrough that you stumble upon at the end of your session.

But not all of us have a willing lap, that will listen to us objectively. So we have to pay money for it, except we don’t get the lap, we get a couch. Are we even allowed to put our feet on that couch? Am I resting my head on the side of the couch that some guy who stepped on dog poop put his feet up on? Probably best not to think about it.

So I propose Lap Therapy. Beautiful therapist in Lingerie, with a willing lap, and an open ear. Make it happen, Internet. Make it happen. I’ll bottle up my frustrations, save up my money, and wait patiently for you. It’s also a hell of a lot safer than dealing with a surly pimp who will break your legs if you’re two bits short of payment.

Feel free to also create versions for women, gays, and lesbians. I’m sure they all could use a good lap too

(And yes, I’m aware I used the term Zen in a webcomic that uses the phrase “Dick Face”.)